Friday, September 27, 2013

The Box is OPEN!


Everyone has a story, some just have a few more layers and are bit more colorful!

I started writing the book to tell my story to help me let go of the past and to help others who have struggled with self acceptance. Since then, things have gotten really hard for us and I now feel like it's the only way out of the current situation.

The book is about my unbelievable life. I mean it! When I tell people some of what has taken place they look at me like I should be a fiction writer because this can't be true.

Let's start with the last few days.

I got a voice mail from a very sweet woman named Luella in Idaho who does research for the Genealogy Society there. I had contacted her several months ago to help me find information about my birth mother and possibly the 5 siblings listed on my birth certificate.

Her research turned up a lot of information on my Mother, Zelma. It's not pretty.

She had found Sandy, the wife of Zelma's 2nd husband Kenneth's nephew. Are you with me? So while she is not related to me directly she was very familiar with the situation because her mother and father in law
stood up for Zelma and Kenneth at their wedding in 1953.

Zelma and Kenneth had two children together. They would be two of the children listed on my birth
certificate, my half brother and half sister. They were unable to find a death certificate so Zelma could be alive. More on that later...

I would love to meet her to hear her side of the story. My father would never tell me much, even made up lies. After hearing more about her, I understand.

Both Luella and Sandy were very excited to share the information with me but had great concern. It appears that Zelma was quite a tramp, she had also left these children with their father, Kenneth. They were very happy to have found the information that I have been longing for years however, they hoped that I didn't have this fantasy about a "Fairy Tale Reunion".

Actually, I have no expectations other than to know more. Even if this doesn't go any further, I feel some validation. I explained to Luella and Sandy that there are things about myself that I don't understand. It's like a box in my mind that has been locked and it's heavy, keeping me from happiness. Inside the box are all of the things that I need to know to help me move forward let go of the pain, but I can't open it!

Seeing my mother's name on the internet for the 1st time last winter was a key. Luella and Sandy took my hand and with that key they helped me open the box...

My sister was born in 1954 and lives in Idaho. I was able to find her on facebook. I left her a message:

"Dear Cheryl, I wanted to call you but I thought it best to write. My name is Tracey Fors. I am your half sister. My birth mother is Jeannie (Zelma Eiler). Naturally, I am curious about you and Jeannie and would like to know more. I understand that this news may cause you some pain, so please take your time in responding. I live in Michigan, here is my home phone number if you would like to contact me. Sincerely, Tracey

I sent the message yesterday. Now I wait. My stomach churning with angst and curiosity!

My brother, born in 1955 passed away leaving behind a very beautiful wife and two daughters. I have decided that out of respect I will wait for the outcome with my sister to approach my brother's family.
They have been through a lot since he passed away in 2009 in an accident.

This is the up to the minute status. I have so much more to share so, I will post more later.

Thank you everyone for all of your love, support and interest in this journey...



Saturday, September 21, 2013

Criminals, Rule Breakers, Soup for the Soul and Stinky Shoes

Day by Day

I go to bed at night with the peace of knowing that I work hard every day. In fact, I wish I spent more time doing something fun just for myself. Perhaps, read a magazine? I'm always trying to figure out how I can multitask by doing something productive while watching "Real Housewives".  Most nights I sleep pretty good! Partly because I love to sleep and partly because because the stress has taken every ounce of my energy. I wanted to make a good impression with my 1st post with the new format, but I had a headache. I spent the day trying to clear up a mess on Ebay! Be careful and BEWARE!! I have good luck selling items under $200. But I listed high-end jewelry and out came the criminals!

I think my years of retail has given me the ability to see red flags and man these people are slick!
Luckily, I have an eye for this sort of thing and caught them trying to scam me before I shipped the goods.
The security at Ebay was a bit surprised how I figured it out. The bad news is that you have to go through a process before you take the item down or relist it.

Now I'm concerned about selling those type of items on Ebay! I have a beautiful watch and some designer pieces that I desperately need to sell.

I'm Just Sayin' 

By nature I am a rule follower. Honestly, because I hate confrontation. The idea of someone pointing out that I broke the rules is crushing to me. So I drive the speed limit, put my cart back and count my items before stepping into an express lane at the grocery store!

Apparently there are a few people at my daughter's middle school who don't care about following rules or they just think that they're special so the rules don't apply to them.

Everyday I go to the school early so I can back into my parking spot. Trying to back out is nearly impossible because there are so many parents driving in circles while talking on their cell phones. Then there are the "special people" who get there early to get their spot in  the fire lane that has a sign posted "NO PARKING" Fire Lane even though there are 20 legal parking spots open! There are about 5 of those people. How about the people who park in the driveway on both sides so you need a smart car to get through. To top it off they get there early so they can get out of the car and go socialize with another special parent while standing in an open parking spot! Do they teach their kids to follow the rules or break the rules? I'm just sayin'...

Recipe Review

"Pioneer Woman's Broccoli Soup"

Soup is good for the soul! I love it because it's so versatile. It can be refreshing with a salad in the summer or warm and hearty with a grilled sandwich during cold months.

I think this one is delicious no matter what time of the year!  Pioneer Woman is my favorite cooking show on Food Network. I've tried a lot of recipes from celebrity cooks and some just didn't taste good! Every recipe that I've tried from Pioneer Woman is delicious. Most I would make again. Be sure to make a big batch of this soup, your whole family will love it!
Leftovers can easily be frozen. Try it with muffins or crusty rolls.

Here's the link:

"Shoe Buddies" 

Here's the 1st run at a tutorial. Hey, cut me some slack while I get the hang of this! I'm one of those who's not afraid to try things but, I'm self taught on most everything. 

I hear Moms talking about smelly shoes. I did some research and found a recipe that was easy and inexpensive so I thought I would give it a try! You can also use these for your undergarment drawers or add a loop to hang on hangers in your closet. This is an easy "No Sew" project that you can make and give away as gifts too! If you're not into crafts you know where you can get them. $3.00 a pair or two pair for $5.00

   Supplies needed
Baking Soda
Loose weave fabric
Pinking Shears

 8" bowl to trace pattern

                                                   I used an 8 inch bowl for my pattern.

                                                          Trace the pattern with a pen

Cut out your circles using pinking shears to help prevent fraying
I used a coffee scoop and measured equal parts of baking soda and lavender

Then pull all of your edges together to create a little package

Secure it with your ribbon. 10" pieces will give you just enough to make a cute little bow. 
Be sure to pull it really tight so your ribbon doesn't come off!

 Aren't they cute?

And lastly my inspiring thought for today: 

Practice deliberate kindness daily.  I can't tell you how good it makes me feel when I give a compliment or offer to help without being asked. Somedays, this is how I get through the day!

"Live 2 Inspire"

Monday, September 16, 2013

"Saving Myself"

I'm not new to blogging but now I'm blogging to save my life. Really.

I've had some pretty dark moments in my life. This past summer I hit bottom. I hope! I have posted lots of stories about my business, but never really shared what was happening at home. I was feeling so hopeless about our circumstances that I wanted to end my life. God reached down and said "You're not finished yet".

Earlier in my life I had been pulled out of other harmful situations by God, Buddha, Allah, Angels or Strangers? Each time at the brink of desperation. This time is different because I was told that I would need to save myself!

I was reminded that I was given two miracles named Evan and Casee. I would have to find strength for them.

The book that I am working on will tell the story, partly to let go of the past and partly to offer hope to others who struggle with self acceptance.

As I reach in to the past it opens wounds that are painful, but also opens my eyes to see who I am good and bad. If I don't accept and love myself I can't expect others to.

This is who I am.

I am a mother of two beautiful children with promising futures
I love to cook, create, craft and write
I love being with people all of the time
I am incredibly sensitive and emotional
I try to do the right thing
I am loyal and hardworking
I always give more than I get
I am worthy of love and happiness

So where the blog was about inspiring others and the impact of their actions, now it's about us getting through day by day with a little humor and a lot of hope! I'll share recipes and reviews, creations and tutorials, favorites, inspiring stories and parts from my book. I am happy to say that my 16 year old son has given me his blessings and is very supportive about the blog!
It came to me when I started sharing the photos of food and crafts that I made and got really positive feedback!

If you like the blog, I hope that you will share it with others. The more followers the blog gets the better my chances for making a living at writing and getting my book published.

See you in a few days when I have more to share....

Until then,