"Joy" happens

It's been 18 days since I left my job. It was a tough choice to make but, our kids need  me at home. It has really put things in perspective.

For the last two years I've been working 6 and 7 days a week to try to get back on track to the lifestyle that we once knew.  A big house in a great school district, shopping at Nordstroms, eating out several times a week, kids in dance, baseball, nice vacations and nice clothes. Compared to the standards here we didn't live extravagantly,  but we never had to say no to our children. Ever!

In the past, the sacrifices we had to make have been bearable. We just tightened up a little. But we have always managed to bounce back!

The tangible things that we had became less important as long as we still had what we needed.

I think the hardest part of going through transitions in your life is the carnage of friendships. The people that you had so much in common with go on with their lives, without you. It's sad. When things are tough sometimes just a conversation can be helpful to lift your spirits. But it seems as though people are uncomfortable being around those who are struggling.

I've always been an open book and wear my emotions on my sleeve which has not served me well in relationships. It seems to scare people away!

The funny thing is, that as you learn to live with less tangible things you find that you don't need all of that stuff. In fact, it feels good to live lighter. Less choices to make, less to clean, less to move and less to take care of. It simplifies life!

Unfortunately, that is not the case with friendships and relationships. Where you expected kindness and understanding people have turned their backs. However, in some cases kindness and good conversations have come from the most unlikely places. Casual acquaintances suddenly become more than that and strangers touch you in ways that leave you feeling very blessed! I've come to appreciate the relationships that I do have even more. I spend more time asking questions and really listening, not just to what people are saying but what they are feeling. I didn't take the time to do that before.

Being at home with my kids has forced me to slow down. It's not that there's less to do! Just as much laundry, cooking, dishes, dusting and vacuuming and yard work. But now I have time to see when
something needs my attention. Time to laugh and be silly. Time to investigate things I want to learn
about and things I want to teach my children.

I'm starting to find joy and good feelings from simple things like sleeping in, taking pictures of my kids being kids. I even get real satisfaction from empty dirty clothes baskets! I can have a real conversation with my son without distractions because we have to be somewhere. Suddenly my daughter and I are not at odds over every little detail. I have gotten back to being a really good cook, something I have a real passion for.

So, as we continue to fight this battle I am seeing things differently. We may have to eat at home and hold off on a new pair of shoes for a while. We don't have as much stuff as we used to and we have less friends to spend time with.

I believe that there is a lesson in each road we travel in life. This one is becoming crystal clear!

For now our hearts are full and today that's all we need!


Live 2 Inspire

A Prayer for Mothers of Daughters Everywhere

A Prayer for Mothers of Daughters Everywhere

Written by: Tracey Wormsbacher

I pray that you that in raising your daughter you influence her in positive ways.

I pray that you teach your daughter to be kind and compassionate not only with words but with actions.

I pray that you understand that what you teach your daughter today is who she will be tomorrow.

I pray that your daughter knows that you’re not perfect and that you don’t expect her to be either.

I pray that you instill values that build a healthy sense of self-confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem.

I pray that you can find a way to give her the confidence to stand up for herself when others won’t.

I pray that you invest the time to talk about right from wrong on a regular basis.

I pray that you spend time showing her how her actions affect others.

I pray that she can learn to be a “lady” no matter what the circumstances.

I pray that you can control your emotions when faced with times when things hurt your     
             daughter.

I pray that when bad things happen you show your daughter that “Doing the right thing” 
              is most important.

I pray that your daughter is able to tell you the truth, no matter what the consequences are.

I pray that no matter what the truth is that you will let her know that your love is unconditional.

I pray that during conflicts you are able to see it from different perspectives and teach your daughter to do the same.

I pray that you care for and protect the friends of your daughter as if they are your own.

I pray that you recognize the times when your daughter needs you to be a friend and the times when she needs you to be   

             her Mother.

I pray that you can find it in your heart not to judge others when they make mistakes but take advantage of the teachable  moments for you as a mother and your daughter as a child in these challenging and confusing times.

I pray that you convey that is never ok to have fun or gain at the expense of another human being.

I pray that your daughter learns to be a “Good Friend” by your example.

I pray that you surround yourself with other Mothers who share the same values for their daughters.

I pray that God shows you that we all share the same goals for our daughters, to be raised in a safe and loving environment that will prepare them to be “Mothers of daughters”.

“I pray that you help other mothers by sharing this prayer.”

Love is in the details, but not the ones you think!

You might think I'm pretty self-absorbed to say that the biggest blackout in history was about me.

That was the weekend of our wedding August 16th, 2003. Ed and I started dating on Valentine's day in 1984, almost 30 years ago. It wasn't until our children were 3 and 5 that Ed decided that the milk was no longer free, so he might as well buy the cow!

We didn't want a big wedding but there were so many people who had taken part in our journey as a couple that we wanted our wedding to be a celebration to include those people. Because of our age difference and the fact that I started working for Ed when I was 19, there were a few who never believed it would last. Surprise! 

In fact, our wedding song was not your typical wedding song but one that says it all. "Looks like we made it" by Shania Twain.

We lived on a golf course with the perfect setting for an outdoor ceremony. It was everything I had dreamed of.  The wedding dress was perfect, champagne silk and ivory lace. I tried on several dresses, many of them seemed silly for a 39 year old bride. The sales person at the bridal salon brought me a few dresses that were not my style. Then she brought a strapless 2-piece and asked me to please try it on for her! You know what happened next. The minute I put it on I got goosebumps and began to cry. (I'm crying now just remembering that moment).

The veil was borrowed from a very close friend who had worn it 20 years before. It reminded me a bit of Jacqueline Kennedy. A pill box with a 20 foot lace trimmed veil. Stunning but simple. 

My mother in law to be had the hankerchief that she carried on her wedding day reworked and embroidered with the date of our wedding.

This would be Ed's second marriage. Our grandchildren from Ed's son were included in the wedding as well as Casee and Evan. Finding the perfect dresses for the flower girls was just as important as my wedding gown. They were beautiful ivory with crocheted tops and tulle skirts. I found the perfect ballerina flats to match. Of course I made matching hair pieces!  Casee and Cassidy carried baskets with flower petals to drop down the aisle. The bridesmaid dresses were a simple design in a rich rust silk. I think the  girls liked them?

I did a lot of research on the cake before deciding on a bakery. The wedding cake had to actually taste good! I always wanted apricot puree and cream with yellow cake but I knew that was selfish so,  I had them make raspberry mousse cake as well.  I scored on the baker because he was the only baker on the west side who could make "Italian Love Knot" cookies. They were placed on each guest's plate with a "love knote".

The flowers gave me the most grief. It was the only time during the planning that I became  "Bridezilla" I had always wanted a simple bouquet of Lily of the valley. Not possible in August. When I saw my choices nothing satisfied me. We settled on ivory calla lilies and roses. I was very clear that I did not want any shade of peach anywhere in the flowers or there would be drama. The color scheme was cream, champagne and rusty shades of orange. The florist included a lot of greenery so, a friend of mine took it home and started clippings. You should see how many beautiful pots of plants that have grown from those clippings in ten years! I think that's a good omen don't you?

In absence of my father who had passed away 5 years earlier I asked the person who he was closest to him to walk me down the aisle, my brother John who lives in Florida. He had just gone through a divorce and was getting back on his feet so just in case he couldn't make it, we asked Ed's best friend as well. In the event that my brother John made it, they would both have the job.

Every part leading up to the big day was a joy.

Then came Thursday August 14th. It started off great. The kids were at daycare and we had a lot to get done. I went to pick up my dress and hung it from the banister of the second floor of our family room.

Then off to the fruit market, the bakery and home to start preparing baskets for the the hotel guests.

I remember it vividly. It was a hot day and my sister in law and I were putting the notes on the love knots. All of sudden the clock on the microwave beeped. I looked at Debbie and said....

"Did the power just go out?" The nightmare began. You know what that day was like.

At one point I was on the phone with our minister, a 20 year friend of my husband. He lovingly said to me, "Tracey I know that it's hard to see right now but, something good will come out of this". At that moment looking at my beautiful dress hanging there I was doubtful and wanted to slap him for saying it! 

How would anything get done? Tent, chairs, food, flowers. A million questions ran through my head. By that evening we had contacted as many people as we could with the little bit of charge we had on our phones. We had decided if nothing else, we would have a ceremony on the golf course and plan a party at another time. It was so hot upstairs we all slept on the floor that night in the kids playroom. Not what I had planned.  Friday was spent worrying about the friends and relatives who were coming in from out of town. By now our cell phones were dead. We had no way of knowing if anyone would make it. How would we get the tuxedos? I had no way of knowing if there would be a cake or flowers.

It was falling a part. Of course, there would be no rehearsal. 

I was so upset and I know many people were upset for me. I kept asking god why is this happening?

That day was so hot and so long...

At 7:15 pm on Friday night I was walking by the powder room and thought I heard a motor running.

It was the fan! I couldn't believe it. I ran outside to praise god. When I opened the door my brother, 

my stepmom and two nieces pulled into our driveway. 

I got down on my knees and thanked god.  Then with tears in my eyes I kissed each of my family members and hugged them tight. 

At that moment I had no idea how things were going to turn out. But I was happy that my family was by my side.

One by one each of the suppliers confirmed. The florist had a generator so there was never a problem.

The bakery was behind but got it done. The tent set up as planned. The clubhouse was able to make everything on the menu except shrimp as a precautionary measure. When the band showed up it looked like we were going to have a wedding after all.

I was numb with happiness as I dressed up as a bride. As we prepared to walk down the aisle I held on to my brother's arm and whispered "Don't let me fall" I was weak with giddiness!   

As I walked down the aisle I scanned the faces of the people who came to witness this special day and tried to make eye contact with each one of them to say "thank you for being here".

The singer sang "The Prayer" for the procession which put the whole crowd over the edge.

By the time I reached Ed and the minister, the message was crystal clear. 

For me, this wedding was not about dresses, flowers, cake,  music or any other physical detail.

It was about the journey and the people who have been a part of our lives. The power going out was necessary to get me to get my attention to not only see it but, feel it.

We spent the evening expressing how much each one of our guests meant to us.

A true celebration of LOVE

"My Promise"

In 2006, our family owned business that we built from the ground up closed after 20 years in business. Unfortunately, our home was tied to the business and we lost it too.

When you go through rough times whether personal or business you have all kinds of emotions to deal with. Guilt, Sadness, Anger, Fear, Hopelessness and Shame.

It's hard to see the future.

It's easy to say that it doesn't matter what others think. However, we live in a community that instead of asking you for the story and lending an ear, they talk about you behind your back, form their own version of what's going on and avoid you. So, add lonely to that list of emotions.

Only a few came to my defense or asked how I was holding up!

As it turns out things did turn around. We started to recover and rebuild with new careers.

In three years my husband put over a hundred thousand miles on his car traveling for work.I felt like a single mom but we didn't have to make the choice between buying groceries or health insurance.

Then I ran into a "Friend" that I hadn't seen in a while. I asked how things were going. She smiled, put her hands on my shoulders and said, "How are you? I've been meaning to call you." At first, I thought it was about me. But when her smile turned to a look that I have seen on my own face recently. She explained that things were not going well and were about to get worse. She told me what was happening to her family because she knew that I could relate. She also made it a point to tell me that many times she had come to my defense when others passed judgment on my choices.

At first glance it would appear that things were fine but if you look a little closer you can see the pain.

Friends,  I want to make you a promise...

The next time I see you and you look tired...

I won't judge you.

When it looks like you've gained 10 pounds or lost 10 pounds...

I won't judge you.

If your family business of 20 years has to close...

I won't judge you.

When the for sale sign goes up on your home...

I won't judge you.

When all of your rainy day savings are gone...

I won't judge you.

When all of your "sound" real estate investments are liquidated...

I won't judge you.

When the experts you hire such as lawyers, title companies, brokers and banks give you bad advice...

I won't judge you.

When you have to pay your payroll on personal credit cards instead of paying property taxes...

I won't judge you.

When your husband's company decides not to renew his contract for employment...

I won't judge you

When there is no longer a need for your company's product or services and sales are down...

I won't judge you.

When your husband's company has to cut back and you have to work outside the home...

I won't judge you.

When your husband has to commute to another state for work and leave your family every week...

I won't judge you.

When your husband has to put 500 miles a week on his car to make a living...

I won't judge you.

When your company has to make a choice between laying off staff or buying much needed equipment...

I won't judge you.

When you have to make the choice of your children participating in sports or Mom getting new clothes...

I won't judge you.

When you cut your own grass and clean your own house...

I won't judge you.

When you decide to stay home for vacation instead of going to Mexico...

I won't judge you.

When you decide that staying in the community that you love is better than moving away in shame...

I won't judge you.

When you have to make tough choices on making house payments,  buying groceries, school clothes or health insurance...

I won't judge you.

When you don't invite your neighbors over or attend parties...

I won't judge you.

I will promise to say hello. I will promise to ask if you need someone to talk to. I will promise that you are not alone. I do promise that bad things happen to good people. And I do promise that you will get through the hard times.

So hold your head up high and feel the blessings if your family is together and healthy. 

I promise that I will come to your defense against judgement when others don't.

For I have walked in your shoes...

Build it and they will come. But what kind of experience will they have when they get here?

There are days when I think about everything that I have tried and I see it as "look at how many things that didn't work".  Then there are days when I see it as "look at how many things I have learned from trying". They say that you haven't failed until you stop trying!

No matter what the outcome of the efforts have been one thing is for sure, building these ideas is an invaluable experience!

Yesterday's post asks the question Chicken or Egg?

The challenge for Northville Square is that you have to get people in the door in order to show them what a great place it is!

As soon as I made the tough decision to close HOI, I put another hat on.

I needed a way to liquidate my inventory and the building owner needed a way to empty the rest of the spaces so that they can be leased.

Let's have a sale!

While Repurpose was here, their lease restricted anyone else from having vintage merchandise. I knew that there was a draw for it because I sat in my store for a year and a half and watched gobs of people walk through her doors. The problem was that they walked in the front door and out the front door. Many never came in the mall! The people who did come in the mall were somewhat disenchanted
because the store was not what they thought it would be.

The comments were similar most of the time. It was ok but the prices were high and the staff is not helpful. But don't blame Cari. She is sweet and very talented. From what I could see, she had too many people around her pulling her in the wrong direction. On her own, without all of the hoopla she would have had a great thing here in Northville.

Boy, do I have visions of all of the fun things that she could have done here that Northville would love.
I did share some of those ideas, but what did I know? My idea wasn't working, but I didn't have a TV show that drove customers from all over Michigan and other states too!

So on with the Sale! Since there was a mixture of merchandise, it was hard to come up with a name for marketing. I got out my handy dandy thesaurus and looked up words for antiques, collectibles and vintage. I came up with "Rummage and Relics" There are some rummage sale items, but there are lots of relics too!

Then I decided to solicit other vintage collectors and dealers to see if we can make this more interesting.

We currently have 6 vendors and are now getting inquiries daily!

This is where my past work comes in handy!

The "Rummage and Relics" sale will take place December 7-9th as an event at LimeLight Emporium!

Friday 9:30 am - 8:00 pm
Saturday 9:30 am - 6:00 pm
Sunday 11:00 am - 4:00 pm

For more information visit the facebook page for LimeLight Emporium at:

http://www.facebook.com/LimeLightEmporium

You can also preview the merchandise starting this weekend while the dealers are here setting up!

Saturday - 11-5 and Sunday 12-4

Next: Make the most of what God gave you!

The Chicken or the Egg?

There is a good reason that I have not posted a blog in a few days.  I have been writing, just not editing enough to let the public see. I write when I have thoughts and then go back and fix it!

Most of my readers know that while closing the store, I have been working on organizing events in the mall. This has given me something positive to focus on.

Somewhere along the way I have made it my personal and professional mission to figure out how to drive traffic to Northville Square. At first it was for my own business but once I saw the handwriting on the wall about my concept I started thinking bigger!


I set up and started working on the facebook pages and email groups for the tenants to send me information on their businesses. It's like pulling teeth to get tenants to participate. Why do you think that is?

I sent out emails, scheduled tenant meetings, encouraged tenants to set up tables/booths during high traffic events with very little effectiveness. I have asked myself over and over, if it's my delivery or are they too busy? I even extended the offer to businesses outside of the building in town to participate in events and NOT ONE had any interest?

What I find is that even in this small town everyone has their own agenda on the purpose of their business. Most do not care to get involved!

It drives me CRAZY!

My naive innocence is determined, so I came up with "Children's Marketplace"Michigan's 1st market dedicated to goods and services with children in mind.

I thought that Moms with young children would like a place to stop for a couple of hours and find resources for their families! I scheduled FREE presentations, entertainment and activities for the children. I worked with Bricks to offer kid friendly items. Spent hours in the middle of the night soliciting vendors on the internet and talking to Northville businesses by email and in person.

The Northville Record wrote a story, Patch wrote a story, I sent it to all of the news stations and the Detroit News, Posted it on websites under events with newspapers and Metro Parent. I even joined Mom groups to let them know about it!  By the way, The "Northville Working Moms" group declined my request to become a member. My children were too old and they didn't need help finding things to do! Shame on them.

I peddled flyers at childcare centers, churches, schools, libraries as well as all of the businesses downtown Northville and Novi.

God Bless the people who came aboard!  There are about 20 people who saw the vision on the idea! They dragged their wares and staff in here for 8 weeks.

Nobody came! Sadly, the Moms who did come thought it had great potential. But how can I expect vendors to pay to be here if we can't get people to come?

The worst part for me, was that two tenants complained about the noise or the clientele not being "Their customer"!

As you can see, even good intentions don't work for me...

But I won't give up. Why? Because there are more people who do see the value in the effort who have stepped forward to let me know that they appreciate it and are inspired...

This keeps me going!

Next: Build it and they will come. But what kind of experience will they have when they get here?

Be my Guest!

The Cosmopolitan Collection - Jenna David 

It really is comical when I look back at all of the things that I tried to drive traffic to Hearts of Inspiration. Because resources and funds were slim I had to be creative about getting new merchandise to replace the little merchandise I did sell. It was a big place to keep stocked up!

I learned from other merchants in town that they had some success with guest vendors during events. So I thought I would post an invitation on facebook and see what happens. It was an opportunity for people to sell merchandise or services with no obligation except for mentioning it on facebook, emails or whatever method they use for marketing. I thought that it would be a great way of networking. Seemed like a win-win!

Here is a list of the vendors that I hosted over the course of a year.

Jenna David - I think Bonnie did ok that night but, her contacts helped me have my best night ever!

Pop Up Knitting - It gave Terri some ideas and it turned into tea on Tuesdays for us. We are now really good friends.

Lizzy Designs - She came one night and left her hair accessories on consignment. I called her to pick them up when I moved in June and she never came or called.

My Little Dreams - Hair accessories. I still see her around with her beautiful girls. She is now a photographer!

Cake Pop Couture - Nothing, never heard from her again though I have invited her. She was very kind and provided cake pops for the "Free" Tea Party. If you ever need cake pops, look her up on facebook.
They are beautiful and delicious!

Stuffettes - Wedding and decor pillows, Wine Jackets and Hair Accessories. Lee came a few times but I never heard from her again.

Westpointe Designs - I loved this girl she was tall and beautiful and very humble. She did repurpose and upcycled really cool earrings. They were only $10 but couldn't sell one pair in Northville.

My friends Maria and Angie who sell bracelets imported from Greece. They had a beautiful display and sold a few pieces but not nearly what they sell at home parties???  They were very gracious and gave me a scarf and bracelet as a thank you!

My Jenny Lou - Women and children's apparel and tote bags.

Your Botanicals - Homegrown, organic skincare. Lauren came a few times and left her items at the store to promote the line. About 3 months later, she called me on the phone and said that she was on her way to Texas, permanently and I could do whatever I saw fit with her samples!

One of my favorites, Designs by Flo. A sweet lady who has been cutting her own wood and making christmas ornaments and holiday decor for 25 years. Flo and her husband came up from retirement in Florida to be with their son and grandchildren. They had all of their inventory left and didn't want to
be in the business anymore so they set it up a couple of times sold a few pieces then left some with me on consignment. Some was a little outdated but people loved the story and the prices. We both did pretty good on it. Nice people!

Mary Kay, Shaklee, Stella and Dot and Thirty One Gifts were here too!

Last year on Girl's Night I thought I would try a DJ! The idea was that he would draw the ladies down to party with us at Hearts of Inspiration. When he started playing music I asked him when he was going
to start taking requests or talking and he says: "What do you mean, You want me to talk? I didn't rehearse anything!"  Biggest waste of $300 I have ever spent! There went my sales for the night.

Overall, nobody did much business during the events. I have to say though, it was like a party and they were my guests. It made me happy just to have them around!

Next: It's all about the kids!