Friday, June 7, 2013

"My Promise"





In 2006, our family owned business that we built from the ground up closed after 20 years in business. Unfortunately, our home was tied to the business and we lost it too.

When you go through rough times whether personal or business you have all kinds of emotions to deal with. Guilt, Sadness, Anger, Fear, Hopelessness and Shame.

It's hard to see the future.

It's easy to say that it doesn't matter what others think. However, we live in a community that instead of asking you for the story and lending an ear, they talk about you behind your back, form their own version of what's going on and avoid you. So, add lonely to that list of emotions.

Only a few came to my defense or asked how I was holding up!

As it turns out things did turn around. We started to recover and rebuild with new careers.

In three years my husband put over a hundred thousand miles on his car traveling for work.I felt like a single mom but we didn't have to make the choice between buying groceries or health insurance.

Then I ran into a "Friend" that I hadn't seen in a while. I asked how things were going. She smiled, put her hands on my shoulders and said, "How are you? I've been meaning to call you." At first, I thought it was about me. But when her smile turned to a look that I have seen on my own face recently. She explained that things were not going well and were about to get worse. She told me what was happening to her family because she knew that I could relate. She also made it a point to tell me that many times she had come to my defense when others passed judgment on my choices.

At first glance it would appear that things were fine but if you look a little closer you can see the pain.


Friends,  I want to make you a promise...

The next time I see you and you look tired...
I won't judge you.

When it looks like you've gained 10 pounds or lost 10 pounds...
I won't judge you.

If your family business of 20 years has to close...
I won't judge you.

When the for sale sign goes up on your home...
I won't judge you.

When all of your rainy day savings are gone...
I won't judge you.

When all of your "sound" real estate investments are liquidated...
I won't judge you.

When the experts you hire such as lawyers, title companies, brokers and banks give you bad advice...
I won't judge you.

When you have to pay your payroll on personal credit cards instead of paying property taxes...
I won't judge you.

When your husband's company decides not to renew his contract for employment...
I won't judge you

When there is no longer a need for your company's product or services and sales are down...
I won't judge you.

When your husband's company has to cut back and you have to work outside the home...
I won't judge you.

When your husband has to commute to another state for work and leave your family every week...
I won't judge you.

When your husband has to put 500 miles a week on his car to make a living...
I won't judge you.

When your company has to make a choice between laying off staff or buying much needed equipment...
I won't judge you.

When you have to make the choice of your children participating in sports or Mom getting new clothes...
I won't judge you.

When you cut your own grass and clean your own house...
I won't judge you.

When you decide to stay home for vacation instead of going to Mexico...
I won't judge you.

When you decide that staying in the community that you love is better than moving away in shame...
I won't judge you.

When you have to make tough choices on making house payments,  buying groceries, school clothes or health insurance...
I won't judge you.

When you don't invite your neighbors over or attend parties...
I won't judge you.

I will promise to say hello. I will promise to ask if you need someone to talk to. I will promise that you are not alone. I do promise that bad things happen to good people. And I do promise that you will get through the hard times.

So hold your head up high and feel the blessings if your family is together and healthy. 

I promise that I will come to your defense against judgement when others don't.

For I have walked in your shoes...







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