Friday, September 27, 2013

The Box is OPEN!


Everyone has a story, some just have a few more layers and are bit more colorful!

I started writing the book to tell my story to help me let go of the past and to help others who have struggled with self acceptance. Since then, things have gotten really hard for us and I now feel like it's the only way out of the current situation.

The book is about my unbelievable life. I mean it! When I tell people some of what has taken place they look at me like I should be a fiction writer because this can't be true.

Let's start with the last few days.

I got a voice mail from a very sweet woman named Luella in Idaho who does research for the Genealogy Society there. I had contacted her several months ago to help me find information about my birth mother and possibly the 5 siblings listed on my birth certificate.

Her research turned up a lot of information on my Mother, Zelma. It's not pretty.

She had found Sandy, the wife of Zelma's 2nd husband Kenneth's nephew. Are you with me? So while she is not related to me directly she was very familiar with the situation because her mother and father in law
stood up for Zelma and Kenneth at their wedding in 1953.

Zelma and Kenneth had two children together. They would be two of the children listed on my birth
certificate, my half brother and half sister. They were unable to find a death certificate so Zelma could be alive. More on that later...

I would love to meet her to hear her side of the story. My father would never tell me much, even made up lies. After hearing more about her, I understand.

Both Luella and Sandy were very excited to share the information with me but had great concern. It appears that Zelma was quite a tramp, she had also left these children with their father, Kenneth. They were very happy to have found the information that I have been longing for years however, they hoped that I didn't have this fantasy about a "Fairy Tale Reunion".

Actually, I have no expectations other than to know more. Even if this doesn't go any further, I feel some validation. I explained to Luella and Sandy that there are things about myself that I don't understand. It's like a box in my mind that has been locked and it's heavy, keeping me from happiness. Inside the box are all of the things that I need to know to help me move forward let go of the pain, but I can't open it!

Seeing my mother's name on the internet for the 1st time last winter was a key. Luella and Sandy took my hand and with that key they helped me open the box...

My sister was born in 1954 and lives in Idaho. I was able to find her on facebook. I left her a message:

"Dear Cheryl, I wanted to call you but I thought it best to write. My name is Tracey Fors. I am your half sister. My birth mother is Jeannie (Zelma Eiler). Naturally, I am curious about you and Jeannie and would like to know more. I understand that this news may cause you some pain, so please take your time in responding. I live in Michigan, here is my home phone number if you would like to contact me. Sincerely, Tracey

I sent the message yesterday. Now I wait. My stomach churning with angst and curiosity!

My brother, born in 1955 passed away leaving behind a very beautiful wife and two daughters. I have decided that out of respect I will wait for the outcome with my sister to approach my brother's family.
They have been through a lot since he passed away in 2009 in an accident.

This is the up to the minute status. I have so much more to share so, I will post more later.

Thank you everyone for all of your love, support and interest in this journey...



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